Adventures in Aliensitting Redux
by Wildcard999
Summary: My name is Rachel Roth. I was raised by monks in a place called Azarath until about three weeks ago when I came to Earth. I cherish my privacy. I love my solitude. I...hate girly alien supermodels...Right? Rewrite of Adventures in Alien Sitting


I read a fanfic that I thought was actually pretty good, but needed some work, mostly because it didn't read like Raven. Unfortunately, the original author realized she has more in common with Starfire than Raven and can't really do Raven justice, so with her permission, I've adopted the fic. I have a link to starprincess313's original copy in my profile.

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**Adventures in Aliensitting Redux**

My name is Rachel Roth. I'm sixteen years old and up until about three weeks ago, I was raised by monks in a place called Azarath. But my life changed when I came to Earth and met four other teenagers who are a lot like me. We all have special abilities that we've decided to use to fight crime. We're trying to build a tower on an island just off the coast of Jump City. For now, we're living separately though. I'm not going to lie, I think I'd be happier staying on my own. I think some of our personalities will clash too much. I'm a pretty solitary, serious person. Mostly because my powers are driven by my emotions and they can get dangerous. If I feel too much...the real me comes out. The demonic rage I've spent so many years learning to suppress—to hide for the safety of everyone around me. If I relax—even for a second—the world could be doomed.

The others are much more normal.

First there's Cyborg. Half teen, half robot. He seems upbeat and fun loving, but still smart and grounded. So far, I've gotten along with him okay, as long as he doesn't try to intrude on my personal bubble.

Then there's Beast Boy, the green teen shapeshifter. He still acts like a kid and couldn't even pretend to be serious. Something tells me I am NOT gonna get along with him. AT ALL. I'll end up throwing him out a window or something.

Next is Robin, Boy Wonder, the Dark Knight's Ward and our "fearless" leader. No problems there, yet. He's serious, dedicated and… Okay, he's not completely unattractive. I would never do anything with him though, even if I could.

Finally, there's Starfire, alien princess terror, turned hero. She's the only other girl on the team and she keeps trying to force what she calls "the female bonding time" on me. I have never met anyone so perky, it's annoying. I struggle to remember she's new to our planet and still learning our customs. I just didn't realize there was no such thing as personal space on her planet. And since I'm telling the truth here, I might as well confess, I'm a little jealous of her. She's beautiful, free to feel as much as she wants and I think she's attracted the attention of not only every single male in Jump City, but also the Boy Wonder himself. The worst part? She has no idea about any of this.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, living with them. As far as I know, the living situations right now are somewhere along these lines: Cyborg and Beast Boy are working together to build the tower, which means camping on the island. Robin has an apartment and Starfire stays with him. He won't let her out of his sight. He says it's because if she wanders off on her own, she'll get lost, but we all know it's because he just likes looking at her. And me? I'm squatting in an abandoned apartment. There's some furniture here and I have most of my books, so it's an adequate arrangement.

I wake up to a normal Wednesday and start the day with my morning meditation, a necessity to keep my darkest impulses hidden away. Not halfway through, I hear a knock at the door. Panic rises in my throat. _Uh oh. Am I in trouble for being here?_

I take a deep breath and answer it anyway. Luckily my fears are unfounded. Instead of a disapproving cop, I find a very serious Robin and an unusually calm Starfire. Oh, boy. This can't be good either.

"What?" I demand, rather irritated my meditation was interrupted.

"I have business in Gotham today; Starfire needs to stay with you," Robin answers matter-of-factly, seemingly unfazed by my tone. His immunity is still unsettling, but hopefully I'll get used to it.

"No." Fear rises again and I have to quickly quash it. Unbidden images flash through my mind; Robin disappointedly demanding how I could fail and Starfire off in the distance, dead or destroying because of some alien misunderstanding of Earth, Beast Boy and Cyborg turning their backs on me. Dying alone and friendless on an empty planet somewhere. I can't take care of someone else—I can hardly handle myself! Robin has to find someone else to take her. "Why can't she help Cyborg and Beast Boy?"

"Cyborg is busy getting permits secured to build the Tower." Robin grimaces. "And would you really trust Beast Boy to keep track of her?"

Starfire was looking up at the ceiling, off in her own alien world. Robin has a point. I wouldn't trust Beast Boy to watch a rock.

I sigh. "Fine, whatever. But you owe me. Come on in, Starfire."

Starfire gives a quick nod, then slowly enters the apartment. Something seems…off about the usually-upbeat alien.

Robin smiles at me. "I know. Thanks Raven."

Robin leaves and I shut the door. Now what? I turn around and study Starfire, hoping an answer will reveal itself. She's quietly wandering around the apartment, looking at the sparse furnishings with little interest. Okay, something is definitely not right here. Normally she'd be babbling on and on about "the braiding maneuvers of hair" and "the painting of the toenails" and trying rope me into something girly. Right now, she almost looks...sad?

"Starfire?"

"Yes, friend Raven?"

"Is everything okay?"

She shakes her head.

I slowly venture, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"You would not wish to know."

That bit deep. Does she really see me like that? Uncaring and callous? I sigh; I've really gotten off on the wrong foot with her, haven't I?

I keep pushing, even though the answer does scare me. "No, I want to know. We're going to be roommates soon; we have to try to be friends. So tell me what's wrong." I steel myself, prepared for the outpouring of uncomfortable feelings and unfixable quandaries. Robin really shouldn't have left her with me.

Starfire sighs and sits on the couch.

"I am feeling the sickness for my home. Today is Gorgbarg, the Tamaranian celebration of the day X'hal banished the Psions from Tamaran by sacrificing herself to their wrath. It is a day of joyousness that is supposed to be spent with families and knorfkas, but I am unable to leave Earth without the risk of being recaptured by the Gordanians."

Listening carefully, I try to relate the spirit of this holiday to something I understand a little better.

"So, it's kinda like Christmas?"

"Christmas?"

"Um, yeah...well, there's a religious aspect I'm not really sure about," I flounder, trying to remember what little I've seen the past few weeks, "but mostly it seems to be a family celebration. You get a tree, decorate it with lights and tinsel and people exchange gifts."

"Hmm… Yes, I suppose comparisons could be drawn between Gorgbarg and your Earthly Christmas." Star sighs longingly again.

"Oh, wow… I'm sorry Starfire." I fidget, trying to think of what I should do or how I can make her feel better. Should I put my arm around her? Maybe that's too personal; should I hold her hand? No, that's dating—

I notice a questioning look on her face.

"Why? You have no reason to be sorry. It is not you keeping me from my homeworld."

Oh, right. Expressions and idioms confuse her.

"On Earth, when another person feels sad, it is customary to apologize for their sadness, even if you didn't cause their sadness."

She nods absentmindedly as she processes this. Hopefully she understands now.

"Do you perhaps have something that I may read to pass the time?"

Huh, funny. I was actually about to start reading too.

"Uh, yeah sure. One sec." I tear through a couple piles of books until I notice the Great Gatsby. The old writing style might be easiest for her to understand. I quickly grab my book and hand her hers, then settle on the couch across from her. As the story surrounds me, the stresses of being me melt away and I lose myself to the plight of Dante and his journey through Hell.

About five minutes pass and I realize I haven't heard her turn the page. I look up and sure enough, she's still staring at the first page.

Oops. Did I assume to much about her again?* "You can read English, right?"

"Yes, I can. It is just strange seeing your language written. These characters look so different from my native letters and numbers."

I shrug and go back to my book. That sweet, merciful silence returns and I let the story reabsorb me. A cool breeze sweeps into the apartment just as I look up and I catch sight of something...distracting.

"Um...Starfire?"

"Yes?"

"Are you wearing a bra right now?"

She looks up from her book, confused. "A...bra?"

"Oh, sorry. Do they still call them brassieres on your planet?"

"I do not understand your question."

I sigh. Not this. Azar, anything but this!

"Alright...Mark your place in your book, we're going shopping."

Still puzzled, Starfire follows me to the mall. I think about taking her to Black Heart, but...I'm not so sure their merchandise is quite her. So I look around for a Victoria's Secret, then drag her in. No employees are immediately visible, so I decide to learn more about her planet as we wait.

"So, you really don't have bras on your planet?"

Starfire studies the mannequin displays, a soft horror spreading across her face. "We have no need for such barbaric devices. On Tamaran, those who are blessed with bountiful breasts flaunt them freely. I do not understand this planet's desire to...hide them."

I really didn't know what to say to that. No wonder Robin wanted her to stay with him, she was a walking centerfold. An employee finally appears and I take a deep breath, bracing myself for what I am about to do.

"Uh, hi. My friend isn't from around here and doesn't know her size."

The girl glances behind me at Starfire and her eyes widen in shock. It seems so silly, but this is everyone's reaction to seeing her for the first time—men and women.

"Um…Okay. No problem. Right this way, hun."

Star doesn't seem to follow what's going on, but I usher her in the direction the employee is taking us. She gets measured and I end up buying her three bras. Star fidgets with her new restraints, but settles down when she realizes it's a losing battle.

As we are leaving the mall, I notice she's distracted by a very flashy window display. Brilliant colors, delicate material...yeah. Definitely something she'd like, I suppose._ If it'll take your mind off Gorgbarg..._

"Want to go in?" I venture.

"Would I? Oh yes, I would be most delighted!"

Big mistake. Every stores we enter, the employees fawn all over her, begging her to try on their clothes and several even try to sign her up to model for them. I desperately want to bang my head against any hard surface. To wake myself up from this nightmare, or knock myself out until it's over, I'm not sure, but it takes all my inner strength to resist.

After the seventh store and a rumbling pang from my stomach, I finally realize Starfire has no intention of leaving. Ever. I drag her out, all but kicking and screaming and take her back to my apartment. I let her in ahead of me and I notice she's smiling for the first time today.

"Raven, I thank you for making it… Easier to be away from home during Gorgbarg. I had a most enjoyable day with you."

I crack the smallest hint of a smile.

"No problem, Starfire. What are friends for?"

Her smile grows even brighter.

"So, we are friends?"

"Yeah, we're friends—Don't hug me!"

Her open arms hang in the air, frozen with indecision. She desperately want to crush my bones to a fine powder with her passionate buddy-buddy love, but she also wants to respect my wishes. She already knows I'm not a huggy person to begin with, but I'm also desperate to keep breathing. She finally decides to honor my request and steps back. I breathe a silent sigh of relief.

A knock at the door startles me. Robin!_ Thank Azar._ I watch Robin lead Starfire out of my apartment and temporarily out of my life. A feeling of disappointment and emptiness falls over me as I look around the vacant room and realize I'm alone again. No one to read books with. No one to teach about the customs of Earth. No one to challenge me to solve problems I never thought could exist...no one to talk to.

A smile spreads across my face. _No one to talk to until Titan's Tower is built. Maybe this won't be so bad...?_


End file.
